When there’s time and distance between you, it can be tricky to achieve a continued sense of intimacy in your relationship. But it’s certainly not impossible.
Couples in long-distance relationships may have to work a little harder and a little more creatively to feel close when they’re far away, but with a few nifty ideas and plans, partners even on the other side of the world from each other — and in completely opposing timezones — can feel closer than they ever have before.
Keep the conversation fresh
Intimacy is more than the moments you spend together in bed; it’s finding a sense of connectedness in sharing the most intimate parts about you, which includes your emotions, memories, aspirations and those thoughts you sometimes keep to yourself.
Oftentimes, the best way to achieve emotional intimacy from a distance is to talk, and really set aside the time to do nothing else (read: no multitasking). Whatever the time difference, schedule one hour of talking time and come prepared with interesting questions for your other half that will help you get to know them on a deeper level.
We understand long-distance chats can be clunky with poor reception and receiver delays, so approach the conversation with patience and calm to create a space that allows your lover to really open up to you. Listen to what they have to say, and reflect their openness with your own responses, too.
If you’re unsure where to start, might we recommend our list of 50 interesting questions to spark meaningful conversations?
Bring them along for the ride
Talking on the phone is one way to check in with your significant other when it suits both of you, but when opposing time zones are involved, this may only leave you with one window of opportunity to speak. Our advice to combat this feeling like you’re both missing out on key moments is to take your partner with you as you go about your day — even if they’re asleep while it’s happening.
Send them snaps of pretty things you encounter, views you think they might like, and selfies with your friends as they wave through the screen. While commuting, shoot over a voice memo of how you’re day is going and how you’re feeling, or those random memories that pop into your head from your last holiday together.
It’s far nicer to wake up to a bunch of photos and voice messages than it is a slew of text messages. Not only do these allow the person on the other side of the world to hear your voice first thing in the morning, but it means that if you have to miss your regular call for whatever reason, you’ve at least heard each other’s voices that day.
Note, though, that alone time is healthy for the success of your relationship, and that you may not wish to provide updates so frequently if it means you have less to catch up on later during your scheduled phone call. Find the balance that works best for you.
Get intimate
One of the best ways to find a sense of intimacy when you’re apart? To get intimate together… from a distance. It’s easier than it sounds. Just because you’re not able to share physical moments together, doesn’t mean you can’t still find closeness in your respective corners of the world.
Sure, you could look to good old fashioned phone sex (check our guide here) or video sex if you feel comfortable and secure with the idea of it, but there’s now a range of tools and products designed specifically to facilitate mind-blowing long-distance sex. Perhaps the best on the market being the WeVibe Chorus, $299.95.
“The product I recommend to couples who are separated by distance is We-Vibe’s We-Connect app as it lets you play together — even when you’re apart — and is a sexy way to connect during phone sex. To level up the experience, allow your partner to control your vibes as you control theirs,” sex coach Georgia Grace tells TheLatch—.